Fixed in Time
by Jee oto ta Huttuk koga
Summary: Steve and Bucky talk right before the final scenes of "Endgame."


**AN--The last bit of "Endgame" bothered me. I couldn't believe that Steve would just merrily skip off to the past and not be bothered by the fact that Bucky would be suffering horribly for most of that time. So I wrote this little thing for myself to solve my quandary. Do I even have to say it's a spoiler? PS: includes one mildly vulgar word that appeared in "Endgame."**\--

Steve usually didn't mind wearing a necktie, but today it didn't sit right over the lump in his throat. He fiddled with the knot as he walked, and finally ended up pulling it off. Tony would probably have just said something snide about all the suits and ties at his funeral anyway. The thought didn't do much for the pesky lump as he carefully rolled the tie into a tight coil and slipped it into his pocket.

Most of the people were heading back to the house. Some others were walking together along the lakeside in groups of two or three. One of the trees moved suddenly, and Steve realized that he had been looking right at Groot. But he didn't see the black-clad figure he was searching for. He considered asking the woman with the oversized obsidian eyes and the…the _antennae_…to locate him.

Thinking about space aliens being real just didn't get any easier. But to be fair, neither did operating smart phones.

But spotting Groot had given him an idea. There was a thick knot of trees on the west side of the property, growing some distance from the house. Steve picked his way across the grass and thickening leaf layer, trying not to draw attention to himself by appearing to be in a hurry. "Bucky?" he called softly as he approached the first slender tree trunks. "Hey, Buck you in there?"

"Over here."

Bucky was lounging in the low fork of a branching tree, with one boot planted on the ground and his back settled comfortably against the trunk. His black leather jacket was draped over the branch near his leg, and he toyed with something in his fingers. When Steve got close enough, he saw that it was the elastic band Bucky had used to tie his hair back at the funeral. "You ever gonna get that cut?"

Bucky zinged the band at Steve in reply, bouncing it off his chest. Steve chuckled, then bent down to pick it up. "Nice place you found here," Steve said.

"Yeah," Bucky said agreeably, but his expression was amused. Steve sighed. Bucky knew perfectly well that Steve hadn't searched him out to offer bland commentary about the trees. "I'm taking the Infinity Stones back," he blurted.

"The Time Stone too?" He laughed at Steve's shocked look. "Oh, come on. This is _me_ you're trying not to talk to."

Steve found himself playing with Bucky's hair band, stretching and rolling it. "I'm going to go back and keep you from falling off that train."

Bucky's eyes opened wide. "No."

"Bucky, I could stop…"

His friend held up a warning finger, silencing him. "No."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Steve felt an overpowering urge to yell at Bucky, to shake some sense into the big jerk. _I could stop them from hurting you! Why won't you let me?_ His thoughts careened through his mind like mad things, until he was sure they would collide and burst into flame. He swiped a hand through his hair, and even though he was so angry he couldn't see straight, he saw that Bucky was still watching him. "All right, I give up. Why not?"

Bucky swung his leg over the branch so that both of his feet were on the ground. He laced his fingers together, flesh against vibranium. "HYDRA would have done it to some other guy, Steve, if not me."

"You don't know that," Steve protested.

"I don't," Bucky admitted. "But that's not a risk I can live with."

"Oh yeah? Well, why is that other guy so much better than you are? Huh? Why does he deserve to live his life, while you…" The lump in his throat that had that started before Tony's funeral grew until it almost cut off his breath. "Why?"

Bucky looked down at the leaf-littered ground, seeming to struggle for words. Steve crossed his arms, but waited patiently. "In a way, Steve, I'm really lucky," Bucky said at last. "I have friends now, and family that I'd like to get to know. I really love Wakanda." He smiled dreamily at that. "Fury's approached me about some work, meaningful work. It turned out okay for me. Maybe that other guy wouldn't be so lucky."

Steve felt his ears prick up at the mention of Fury. "What work?"

"Fury told me he'd amputate my other arm if I talked about it." They both couldn't help laughing at that. "But I can tell you, it's pretty weird."

"Weirder than those 'Guardians of the Galaxy'?"

Bucky smirked. "Even weirder."

Steve felt his anger beginning to drain. Even though he didn't completely agree with Bucky's reasoning, he understood it in a deeper part of himself. Besides, he'd never been able to stay mad at Bucky for very long. "It seems a shame to waste having a Time Stone, doesn't it?"

"Oh, I didn't say that you should waste it," Bucky said with a wink. "You should go back and sweep Peggy off her feet."

Steve gaped and swallowed hard as his gut tensed with ice and a strange, spreading heat. He had been so consumed with his plans to prevent Bucky's torture and decades of suffering at the hands of HYDRA that the idea of doing anything else had simply not occurred to him. But now, the prospect of seeing Peggy again, holding her, _kissing_ her… It was suddenly the only thing he wanted to do, and that desire would stay wrapped around his heart for the rest of his life, until the Super Soldier serum in his veins finally gave out. But he shook his head. "No."

"Don't you have unfinished business with her?"

Steve sternly raised the single warning finger, but Bucky only snorted. "It lacks drama when you do it."

Steve stuffed his hand into his pocket. "Jerk."

Sensing victory, Bucky flashed a predator's grin. "Time Stone. Opportunity."

"Shut it," Steve grumbled without the vitriol he had intended to muster.

Bucky leaned forward, his expression suddenly earnest. "I'll make a deal with you. You go back to Peggy, and live that life you deserve...don't make me raise my finger to you again, Steve," he said, seeing Steve's impending objection. "It'll be okay. Yeah, I'll still be…with HYDRA. But you will know that I chose it this time. Live in a little vine-covered cottage somewhere with Peggy, settle down, raise a family, join the PTA and whatever else the domestic types do, then come back here. Find a comfortable spot by the lake, plant your crumbling old bones on it, and let me see you. Then I'll know for sure that you went back, you had a good life, and then I can stop worrying about your dumb ass, even if it is "America's Ass."

Steve's eyes were bright with moisture, but Bucky was kindly affecting not to notice. "What will you do after that?"

Dark vibranium fingers picked at the tree bark with extraordinary precision. "I think you always sort of knew what would make you happy. You just buried it because you had things to do. I never really had that feeling, even back then. I'm not…happy. Not yet. But I like being here, in this time. I think I can find whatever I'm looking for here."

Steve nodded. "And I can't."

They looked at each other again with the wordless, infinite understanding of two kindred souls who simultaneously saw what had been, and what could be.

**AN—Bucky's "weird job" is a light reference to "The Man on the Wall" series.**


End file.
